Tag Archives: adult adoptee

What is your why?

After a brief hiatus…(Fiancé Man is on the mend after a tussle with an icy parking lot, poor chap. Ice 1, Kneecap 0. It was all hands (my hands) on deck to support his healing after the injury. No time or brain space for writing or other hobbies. But, as I said, he’s healing! Woot!)

I finally have something to say again. Expanding on the topic I last posted. Purpose, passion, and an improved self-image. I mentioned a group I joined…It’s called Diamond Academy and the curriculum comes in part from the Proctor Gallagher Institute. Did you ever hear about The Secret when it came out? Law of Attraction? Yup, that’s this….except that Attraction really falls under the realm of the Law of Vibration, but that’s for another day. Fiancé Man introduced me to The Secret a few years ago. We listened to the CDs and some of the concepts stuck with me.

With the dear friend I mentioned in the last post, I’ve done a deeper dive into this material. I’m in Thinking Into Results (TIR) now, and as you may guess, it’s all about thinking and how what we choose to focus on attracts more of those things into our lives. I know, it’s a little trippy, a little New Age-y, a little out there. Except that it’s not. Ya know how it feels when you stub your toe in the morning rounding the corner of the bed on your way to the bathroom? And then you realize you’re out of toilet paper AFTER you’ve sat yourself on the toilet? And then you go to the fridge and realize your Cheerios will have to be dry because your milk is a week expired? Feels like your whole day is shot, jeez at this point, it might as well be the week! This is an example of thinking and reacting to your environment in such a way that negative things keep piling up on you. TIR lessons help us break that cycle of negativity, in this case through perspective.

TIR activities, readings, and the community have changed it all for me. I have probably mentioned that I have seen several therapists over the years. Seeking out a new one each time I’ve moved, which is about every 2-3 years. I’ve learned lots of awesome things in therapy and healed a bit, but with the support of my current therapist, my efforts with this program have helped me grow by leaps and bounds.

So I ask again, what is my why? Why did I join TIR? Why do I want to work through these lessons?

A few reasons. The Fiancé Man, my family, my future.

I recognize that if I want to move forward in my life and truly be happy, I need to leave behind the pain and the anger at my birthmother. Still, if I do let all of that go, who am I on the other side? Am I still an adoptee? Can I still relate to other adoptees? Does it make me a sell-out somehow? I really don’t want to leave them all behind because I’d rather bring them with me. And I also don’t want to give potential and current adoptive parents the idea that being adopted isn’t still hard. That it isn’t still their job to be open with information and provide rich cultural and linguistic experiences for their (adopted) children.

A big part of my why are the younger adoptees out there. The ones who I used to be. And the adult adoptees I was just before I started this program. Stay tuned as I share more 🙂